Mary Kay Translation Guide

OK, so for everyone who doesn't speak "Mary Kay", don't worry because over the years, there have been women who have become fabulous Mary Kay translators…

It is a complex dialect, whose mother tongue is a unique combination of both double-talk and half-truth. Never fear, many have become fluent, and you could be too! Just ask about how to purchase my book, CD, video and/or DVD and in no time at all, you could sell, er I mean speak, Mary Kay with the best of 'em. But for now, just jot down these
popular phrases and their "Reality" transalations so whenever a Pink Jockey talks to you, you will know EXACTLY what she means….

"Mary Kay is America's #1 Selling Brand for over 10 years!" actually
means "Mary Kay is America's #1 dust collector for over 10 years!"

"Mary Kay Opportunity" (from the Latin phrase Bulla Shitta)
translates to "Expensive hobby that annoys all your friends"

"Mary Kay is the Perfect business" really means "Mary Kay is the
Perfect business if you have thousands of dollars to blow on s*** no
one you know can actually afford and you want your husband/boyfriend
to get really pissed off at you"

"This BRAND new Microdermabrasion set is just what you've been
looking for" is Mary Kay for "If I use really big words, maybe you
won't get suspicious and just buy it already."

"Do you have a Mary Kay consultant?" just means "Do you have an
unbalanced woman calling you eleven times a week to make you feel
guilty for not buying overpriced hand lotion?"

"I earned a BRAND NEW CAR" converts to "I sold my soul to the devil
for a mid-size sedan"

"You can work from your home and have an unlimited income" switches
to "Please buy as much crap as you possibly can so I don't lose my
Cadillac"

"Our meetings are so much fun" is really "Our meetings are so much
fun if you've recently suffered a massive head trauma"

"Let me tell you my `I' story" is "Let me feign you a tale.."

"You could have it all!" is MK speak for "I could have it all if I
could just get a few more suckers to join me!"

"Seminar is so incredible" sums up to, "Seminar is a time to whip up
a bunch of frantic women into a spending their kid's college fund on
nail polish so they can get a `standing recognition.'"

"You can't sell with an empty store" really means, "I can't drive
this damn Grand Prix if you don't have enough TimeWise to fill a
swimming pool."

"Pink Bubble" is code for "Suffocating choke hold"

"You are such a wonderful woman, I think you would make a great
consultant" is actually, "I think you are such a gullible loser."