MaryKayCult

Monday, March 07, 2005

How to Recruit your next Mary Kay Consultant

The following [recruiting plan] was passed on to me by a very successful* Mary Kay Consultant.

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Hi Perfect Stranger! I have just bought into a huge Multi Level Marketing (MLM) scheme and I would like to get in your space for a few moments to put some skin care and make up on you so that I can ultimately try to snare you into joining me in this ridiculous pursuit!

Really? You'd love to try some skin care? I'M SO EXCITED! Now, I can work on pushing all of your hot buttons!

Are you a Christian? Then I will push the company's God first slogan!

Are you starved for attention? GREAT! I will push the company's wonderful sisterhood of up and coming millionaire-to-be's and flash you some cheap jewelry!

Do you want to stay at home with your children? I'M SO EXCITED! I can show you how this company will allow you to be on the phone – at a skin care class – at a weekly meeting – or any other really special activities that will draw you away from your children (please don't bring them to any meetings, although we say that Family is before career - children have no place in a professional beauty consultant's world.)

Or, maybe you would like to earn a little extra money to help the family out with some bills? Oh boy! I will show you how to invest, invest, invest in your MK business – don't worry about all the money it will pull from your family cause it will give commission to MINE!

Oh and if you are a little hesitant about investing in your very own business (which we will strongly advise you on how to run your business and how to dress for your business) we also offer our 90% buy-back guarantee!! That's right – the company will re-purchase any inventory at 90% from you if you decide that this awesome opportunity is not for you, uhmm, by the way you will take the hit for the 10% and the company will brand you as a failure and a quitter.

Still with me, target prospect?

How about a great career involving a little known art called "warm chatter?" This aspect of our company will make you view each woman you come in contact with as either a prospective customer, hostess, or a recruit!! And the more recruits the higher I go – uhmm, I mean the higher you go!

So just plop down $100 plus tax and I'll get you started and then we can talk about all the inventory you need to start stock-piling so that I can make more and more commissions and begin to drive "free" and move up on the little beehive known as Mary Kay, Inc.!



Disclaimer: *Consultant successful because she got out of Mary Kay

4 Comments:

  • At 2:34 PM, Blogger PoppieAzul said…

    Pretty much how it works.

     
  • At 7:53 AM, Blogger greenleaf7777 said…

    Those cheap prizes that Mary Kay give their consultants just crack me up. That is some of the cheapest/tackiest jewelry I've ever seen in my life! Its looks like stuff my grandma wore in the 1960s. Only it falls apart faster. And these Mary Kay consultants are really salivating over these cheap prizes. They will buy $5,000 of inventory just to get a gold-tone pin with a genuine cubic zirconia.

     
  • At 8:36 AM, Blogger EauDeJane said…

    I am thinking of selling my Pearls of Sharing on eBay. Wonder how much I'd get. Maybe I should wait about 10 years when they're considered "Vintage MK" shit. Have you actually seen what these women bid on? $25 bucks for an eyeliner. Uhm, hello? Get out of the Pink Fog...

     
  • At 8:06 PM, Blogger Amaterasu said…

    I just got into the Mary Kay business earlier this month, and I am seriously considering 'getting out.' I already bought my $100 starter kit but no inventory, but based on what I've been hearing from most people (outside of the brainwashed pink)...ummm...I was planning on buying a little inventory and trying to sell it all, but I am a college student with little time. I like the product, but Avon sells similar products...for much cheaper...

     

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